My literary life: A photo essay

After completing a commercial project today, I drove across town to Avoca Coffee Roasters for a cappuccino or two. Delicious coffee and they dress them up with artful milk flowers, like this:

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Avoca is a nice little hipster coffee shop, a nice place to sip your drink, read, scribble in your notebook, and listen to an ambient selection of hip-hop and techno dance pop, and maybe a little Eminem. Or I guess that’s what the kids call it these days.

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I went here for the coffee and the experience. I flipped through the Dallas Observer and read a few pages of Rudy Rucker’s Postsingular, a trippy SF novel about out-of-control nanomachines and out-of-control people and other dimensions inhabited by “angels”.  I would stop to write in my notebook and it occurred to me that this is sort of how I imagined my literary life—sitting into cafes, sipping cappuccinos and writing. It’s a pretentious realization, I know. But, pretentious or not, it was a nice, pleasant diversion after a busy work day. And if having that sort of moment is pretentious, so what?

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The Romance of Carl and Bobbi Jo, or a Little Silliness Brought on by Wine

While playing around on Facebook and drinking wine  last night,  I composed this piece of flash fiction:

The Romance of Carl and Bobbi Jo

Another work day over, Bobbi Jo was too tired for having fun. She had been working in the coal mine.

Then Carl showed up. “Hey, Bobbi Jo, you want to slip on down to the Oasis?”

“Carl, you know I got friends in low, low places.”

Later that night, much much later. Both were drunk, Carl and Bobbi Jo. They stood on Bobbi Jo’s front porch, under amber light.

“Lord, I am so tired,” Bobbi Jo said.

“Too tired for having fun?” Carl said.

“No, hardly Carl.” She embraced Carl and kissed him deeply. “No, my dear, I want you to pretend you’ve been working in a coal mine.”

Carl was a bit slow, given the 42 shots of gin he had drunk. He stared at Bobbi Jo, puzzled.

“And you’re goin’ down, down.” She grinned.

Carl grinned, too. It was a pretty good night.

Even later:

“Oh, Carl, you spin me round, right round,” Bobbi Jo said.

“Right round?” Carl said.

“Like a record, baby. When you go down.”

Carl looked at the clock. “Baby, it’s five o’clock in the morning.”

 

None but a blockhead

One of my new favorite writers is John Scalzi. Besides writing some good SF, he also writes a blog—Whatever—in which he writes, well, whatever he wants. Often his posts, to my delight, are a look inside another writer’s life; it’s the sort of site that’s often encouraging and inspirational, but grounded in the realities of writing for a living. And it helps me feel not quite so alone in my ambitions and worries and even my small triumphs as a writer.

One of today’s posts addressed an issue most writers have to struggle with—money. Specifically saying it’s OK and good to actually make money from writing. It doesn’t make you a hack or sell-out. Upbringing (“money is the root of all evil”) combined with university English courses and professors and fellow students that romanticized the suffering, always struggling pauper writer/artist, it’s hard to break free of such a negative mindset toward money. So, I wanted to share Scalzi’s post below for those, like me, who have struggled constantly with this issue:

 A Moment of Financial Clarification

Outlaw Writer

John Gardner: Literary OutlawJohn Gardner: Literary Outlaw by Barry Silesky

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A real teacher, I suppose, can teach through any medium, even if he’s dead.

John Gardner died at age 49 after a motorcycle accident about a year before his classic The Art of Fiction was published in 1983. It’s basically Gardner’s collected notes on the craft, along with exercises. (As an aside: Gardner, as a writing teacher, experimented with broadcasting his writing classes on TV, which seems to prefigure online instruction.)

About ten years after the book’s publication, a friend loaned me a copy at a key time in my long apprenticeship as a writer (like most writers, even famous ones, there are moments I fear I’m a fraud, given my success as a fiction writer amounts to two short stories published online over eight years ago). I read it, absorbed it, worked through its exercises, some of the toughest exercises any writer could and should try.

Its still one of the best books on writing any writer could read, and I recommend it, as I recommend John Gardner: Literary Outlaw, the first fairly extensive general biography of Gardner ever published. The biography is absorbing, for the most part, a solid portrait of a writer as full of foibles and contradictions as he was genius for writing and teaching writing.

In many ways Gardner, or the image of himself that he portrayed publicly, and to most of those who knew him privately, was a model writer, wholly devoted to writing, to the craft; writing absorbed him. It was as much a state of being, almost inseparable from the man, which is a recurrent  theme of the biography. I suppose today much of Gardner’s life as a writer falls into cliche: heavy drinking, womanizing, depressive (probably bipolar, given the envious bouts of energy Gardner seemed to possess, even after drinking astounding amounts of gin, etc.). And yet, it’s sort of a cliche you, as a writer, want to aspire to. A life almost wholly devoted to writing and literature.

As far as Gardner being a literary outlaw: I suppose he was at the time his fame and stature grew in the late ’70s and early ’80s, or infamy as some might and did say with the publication of his book On Moral Fiction, a polemic that pretty much slapped most of his contemporaries (Mailer, Updike, John Barth) in their, according to him, amoral faces.

In time, he would recant some of what he wrote in On Moral Fiction,and his novels (Grendel, Mickelsson’s Ghosts, for instance)would seem to contradict his dismissing the fiction of fabulists and metafictionists, such as Barth, as basically crap that largely broke its promises to the reader of providing a profulent uninterrupted dream, and rather descended into cheap wordplay. (Although to this day, Barth’s short story “Lost in the Funhouse” mostly makes me scratch my head and say WTF?)

At the time that I read On Moral Fiction, in the early ’90s, I loved it; back then, my life had turned seemingly into an absurd existentialist vacuum. I viewed the book then as sort of a secular bible. And, I suppose, its urge toward attempting to write not didactic fiction, but fiction that challenges and moves toward transcendence rather than the Abyss, is still a driving force in my writing.

And it’s not hard to believe Gardner reached such a transcendence in his own life, as Silesky suggests poignantly at the end of the biography, quoting one of Gardner’s students who wrote after visiting the site in 1998 in Susquehanna, New York where Gardner crashed his motorcycle and died: “‘In the mythology of death . . . one must cross the river; and there it was [the Susquehanna River]. All he had to do was get up, brush the grit off his trousers and step across.’”

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Dear Blog: Sorry for the Neglect

Dear Blog and Blog Reader:

Sorry for the neglect over the past few weeks. There are times I’ve meant to write interesting posts like the one I had in mind of defending genre fiction, science fiction in particular. I’ll put a link here to China Mieville doing a good job of that, or parts of this piece in The Guardian do so.

I really have intended to write more here. But things were happening that weren’t so great. Or maybe they were. I ran away; I came home; I moved to a new place; I don’t know what to make of all that, except to say my Memorial Day weekend was interesting and maybe one day I can write about it.

Speaking of writing, Blog, one chief reason I’ve been neglectful is because I’ve been writing, almost daily, with a few interruptions (see above). When I get on writing jags, I tend to neglect you.

I’ll try to be more attentive, Blog. But I won’t make any promises.

Best,

Todd

The Sunday Salon: Story Revision

Today, I finished a revision of a science fiction story “My World Is Not Your World“. It’s my first attempt at science fiction. I would love feedback on it. Chief concerns are plot and condensing the story—it’s really long. But take a look if you want; it’s in the PDF above.

Science and Science Fiction

As I draft fledgling attempts to write science fiction, I’m finding myself worrying about the believability of my understanding of the science part. I come from a liberal arts background, though I love science and loved my required science classes: I took basic zoology and botany and astronomy, as far as the hard sciences go, and anthropology, as far as the soft sciences go. But, much of my understanding of science comes from studying the history of science in history classes, watching the Science Channel and Mythbusters, and reading mainstream science journalism.

One of my current drafts follows an ordinary guy — a liberal arts type — about 50 years in the future who gets his hands on an invisibility suit. The idea for the suit came from a short article in Science News. What I imagine happening to the guy once he gets hold of the suit . . . well, I’m not sure how plausible the idea is, or why or how it could happen, but somehow I want the suit to allow the wearer to fold space time. Oh, and none of you better steal my idea.

Of course, as I’ve begun to write, I also realize that who the character is and what the character wants is also primary to the story. It’s primary to any story. But for SF the plausibility of the science has to count for something.

Shameless Self-promotion: A Look at SF movie novelization

I took part in a blogging round table discussion of  favorite movie tie-ins/novelizations at SF Signal. My favorite was Alan Dean Foster’s novelization of the original Star Wars film. That novel is as responsible for introducting me to the SF genre as any book or film and certainly was an early influence on me as a writer. As you’ll see from the other guest posters, Foster is a master of the novelization. Anyhow, go read the post.

Trial Beginnings

Hello all! Below are links to PDFs of some recent writing I’ve been doing. They are science fiction story beginnings drawn from writing prompts by Joe Haldeman.  I am asking/begging/pleading/grovelling for any interested readers out there to give these “shitty” first drafts (as Anne Lamott might say) a look-see and give me feedback, especially to which beginnings you think have the greatest potential for a short story. Remember, these are drafts—I haven’t proofread them for errors.

Trial beginning 1

Trial beginning 2

Trial beginnings 3a and 3b

Writing and living on the edge of Darkness Visible

I used to romanticize Henry Miller or rather the character of Henry Miller in Tropic of Cancer and the film Henry & June or even the man biographers portrayed. I imagined myself living on the cheap, writing a masterpiece on a typewriter borrowed from a sultry lover. Then wandering the streets and drinking and dancing and talking til dawn.

I believed I could live on the edge like that and a life like that would inspire great works. Masterful writers who put you in their worlds do that. They make you feel you can do the same.

Except . . . I’m close to the edge now. Very close. No borrowed typewriter. Only an aging computer.

Instead of Paris, I’m in Fort Worth, Texas.  I have no liasions set up with a banker’s wife. And I’m finding little inspiring me to write as I sit in my sister’s spare bedroom wondering if I can write more than a blog post, worrying if I’ll find gainful employment, and longing for any sign my wife might want to reconcile our marriage.

Since early November I’ve been stuck in the middle of yet another attempt at a novel, attempting to write in an genre — science fiction, a first love —that’s both foreign and familiar. As all my current chaos closed in, my writing shut down.

Perhaps, too, I feel crippled by a storm darkening my mind, ripping away the drive to write, the same crippling storm that raged through William Styron’s beautiful essay Darkness Visible. In fact, the storm in the mind is Styron’s trope for the melancholy that afflicted him.

I know, at least for me, living on the edge isn’t inspiring, it’s terrifying.